If you told me almost nine years ago that I would finally be a published author, I would be in disbelief. It was a very long journey, but here we are. I never wanted to be a victim of my circumstances. It took me many years to look at myself as a survivor. To loss, to hardships, to abuse. There were days I didn't think I would be able to overcome the debilitating things, both during and after. There were more days than I'd like to admit where I had to peel myself up off the tear soaked bathroom floor. One day, I just had enough. I was going to build a legacy for my son, a legacy he would be proud of. A legacy my Mother would be proud of. To honor her. To speak on the things that are too taboo to speak on. Death and grief with children. Addiction and overdose awareness, what it feels like to be on the other side of it. Pain into power.
For the past month, I've had the honor of recording with a few podcasts. Being able to tell my story on my own terms with no fear has been one of the most freeing things I have ever done. It has also been terrifying. After living through the things I have, I tend to forget how jarring my story can be to others. This has been such a form of therapy for me and is healing me in ways I didn't realize I still needed. The more I share and work, the bigger I want to make this legacy. Being able to hear how needed this book is, is a feeling I cannot even put into words. It's so important for children's grief to be spoken about. To give their feelings a voice and a picture. I cannot stress enough how imperative it is to talk about the hard things. As parents, we are raising the next generation. It is so important for our children to feel heard, and that they can talk about anything they need to with us. Let's break generational curses. Let's all heal together.
If you have lost someone close to you recently or years ago, that void is ever present. It sits in the pit of your stomach on certain days, the back of your throat when you smell something that reminds you of them. Talk bout it. Write it down. Cry, scream, or laugh. One of my favorite quotes is, "grief is just love with no where to go." Feel all of it. Don't you ever forget the things you have survived that you thought would kill you. Always remember the ones you have lost are always here with you.