My son's mind is scientific. I knew it the minute I looked into his eyes when I saw him for the first time. Eyes full of wonder. Eyes that have been here before. He needs to know how everything is created, the methods and full detailed explanation. His soul is deeply rooted from another time. The intricacy of the way his mind works leaves me speechless most of the time. Every night when it's time to wash up before bed, his little mind wanders through his day and he compiles all these power packed questions that he will ask me casually. He goes to this incredible school, which is nature/play based learning and he always comes home singing the songs he has learned. In the shower the other night he was singing the words , "peace like a river in my soul." Then silence. I knew a question was brewing in that strawberry blonde head of his. "Mom, what's a soul?" I was dumbfounded how to even respond to him in a way that would make any practical sense. How do I explain the essence of an individual, the depths of their heart, the fragility and complexities of spirituality? The 21 grams that it makes up of the human existence. So, I went on to explain to him these things the best I could and he seemed satisfied with my answer.
The conversations always seem to lead to where he was before he was living. For years now I have told him that he was orbiting around in space waiting for the perfect timing to choose me as his Mama. He loves the idea of this because he likes to always tell me what he was doing up there. Collecting stars for me to give me when he got here. He's the type of little boy that dreams of being a Dad one day. He tells me the names he likes for them, and asks about who their Mother will be. He tells me that he hopes they will bring him space crystals when they make their appearances. He tells me how he knows I will help take care of his babies too, the way I've always taken care of him. I love his innocence and imagination. I'm in awe of both. As an adult you forget about that sweet innocence after all you've been through on your life journey. Him and I went to hell and back in his first year in life. He wants to be my protector. The other day he was watching Peppa Pig as I got dinner ready and Peppa was saying that Mommy Pig was the best Mommy. Under his breath I heard him say, "No, she's not. My Mama is better!" He is innately pure and I have tried to work so hard to find the balance in him keeping that as long as he can, and also teaching him there is unfortunately cruelty in life (which he's already experienced) and times where he will have to stand his ground and make good choices even if it's hard to.
I recently joined the parent book club at his school, which has been really great so far. Our second book is titled "The Importance of Being Little. What young children really need from grownups," by Erika Christakis. His school philosophy incorporates things from the book into the way their learning dynamic works. So far, it's a really great read and a wonderful reminder as a parent. Bask in the little moments, for they are fleeting. Hold their hands as you walk them into their classroom as long as they'll let you. Take that last glance at them as they blow you a kiss from the glass and always listen to the things in those little moments because those are the things that are shaping them into the person they are growing into tomorrow.
Comments